Breaking Free From the Pain Cycle

I have seen too often people who desperately need healing and, to some level, really want it, but usually, as I dig into the stories, I realize that the person is still attached to the pain, the trauma, and the story. In the worst-case scenario, they do not see the story yet. I say that with kindness and humbleness as it is also a territory I have known too well in my life.

This familiar territory of pain and discomfort, often numbed by habits, addictions, distractions, and a disempowering culture, is a formidable challenge to escape. The pain fuels the narrative, and the narrative fuels the pain, creating a vicious cycle that is difficult to break. I understand this struggle all too well through my own life struggles, and I want you to know that you are not alone in this journey.

I would say that pretty much every person I work with in my "Sacred Purpose Blueprint" or coaching programs comes with a deep knowing and a deep desire for change. Yet, they are paralyzed by the claws of ancient pain and lost in modern stories of individuality and self-disempowerment.

From the perspective of ancient wisdom, such as the Andean Chakana and the three-world wisdom, we are provided with a map to return to ourselves, heal our wounds, break free from the entanglement of pain, and dismantle the colonized parts of our mind. This shamanic perspective teaches us that sickness, disease, and ailments stem from a multi-layered imbalance in our energy bodies. This wisdom is not just a concept but a powerful tool that can guide us toward healing and transformation.

The limited and often colonized stories we have about our health and well-being are like prayers. When we tell our body "I can't do it," "I am sick," "I miss that person," "I would prefer that kind of life," "I am afraid," "I am too sensitive," all of those statements carry the energy, vibration, and prayer of disempowerment and separation that the systems of oppression and harms we have learned to call "normal" (think capitalism, modernity, colonialism, consumption, etc.) have seeded deeply into our beings.

We want to change, yet we go back to unhealthy habits, lifestyles, and behaviors. We stay in unhealthy systems of harm because they are commonly acceptable in our culture, and we are not offered alternatives. We think "Work hard, play hard" or "Fake it until you make it" are mantras of power, but they keep taking us away from our ultimate Truth and power.

We are not fully ready to let go of what made us sick. We keep an unhealthy job or work for systems that sustain collective harm. We stay in an unhealthy home. We call back the unhealthy partner. We isolate from each other. We gossip. We create stories from our own stories. We try to find villains "out there" responsible for our losses. We have been so disempowered that we don't even comprehend the consequences of the life choices we make every day.

The ancient wisdom and this work have saved my life in so many ways, most probably unknown to me. I can see how those who are disciplined in learning and unlearning come back to life. You know, this spark in the eyes you rarely see in busy cities. And yet, this kind of discipline is so hard to reclaim when we have left the shores of the "beauty road" for so long. Too many unhealthy parts of us are running the show.

A part of us wants to be saved. A part of us is filled with unprocessed grief. A part of us is numb. A part of us crave connection. A part of us do not trust others. A part of us wants to run to the woods. A part of us drive our car to the soul-less job. A part of us wants to love. A part of us is afraid of being loved. Most parts are stuck in the past, adult bodies with child behaviors, craving the rite of passage and initiation that we have forgotten.

And yet, at all times, a part of us, unshakable and eternal, has a deep knowing and is silently buried under the world's horrors and our own disorientation.

Watch those parts.
Watch your stories.
Watch the behavior.
Watch your words, they are prayers.
Watch the falling back, the nostalgia of the known yet painful past.

Feel it. With all your heart. And when ready, when on your knees, when the unacceptable meets you, jump into your healing, power, and Truth.

You have to become very disciplined to learn the old ways because the new ones have been very disciplined for centuries, making you and all of us forget who we are meant to be. I hope we get to study together at Sacred Paths.

Angell Deer