May I remember...

The blessings of long caretaking to land (as to any elder) are so immense I often do not have words for it. As it is for unconditional love it can only be felt not really explained.

I wish I could show you. In the words of my dear brother Sufi Hafiz "I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being".


I wish I could just take that pain away. But maybe my heart would never be as open. My mind as humbled. My prayer as embodied. My life as meaningful.

Maybe there are ways into the darkness that are gifts for some. Atrocious for others. Never trusting there is one way to home. Never allowing an inch of my truth to be more than that, my truth.

If there is a fire I can sit with you and pray with you, let's dance and sing with this pain, so we can meet in authentic relating in the hopeless joy to ever transcend our humanity.

I feel if we can see that we are already arrived, already home, in each of our shared breath, we might see that the bridges of unity we desperately trying to build are just waiting to be walked upon.

In the creator's heart that includes all of me, all of you, and all of us, we are already a family. We are related in ways that are invisible to the eyes and mind. In ways that can never be broken or bent.

Let's allow ourselves to dissolve into the presence of the heart with the turmoil of our existential insanity and the excruciating pain of our infinite love for each other.

May I learn to always find my way back into that divine love that has created me, is breathing me, and will meet me at the gate of death.

May I remember.

Angell Deer